17 February 2014

No I Would Not

Today in a parking lot someone said to me "I can give you a good, free, estimate to fix the rust on that car, man." And I said no because I don't need an estimate to fix the rust I need paint and also because I don't normally accept services in parking lots and then I also did some thinking. Why do people promote free estimates? Have estimates ever not been free? Was there a law, similar to the Social Security Act, passed during the Great Depression to scour the burden of once costly estimates from the economy?

And why do we say other things like "new and improved?" Has anything "new" ever not been "improved?" Even the iPhone 5S had that fingerprint-dealy. 

New look same great taste!

I think some people just need to admit that their protein bars never tasted that good and no level of minimalist packaging is going to save that.

33% More Free! 

Has anyone openly admitted to raising the price of their product? 
"Buy the new Gillette Super Lazor Razor Shavor, it's super expensive!"

Fat Free! 

Now this one is pretty innocuous I just mention it because as a kid I thought it meant the fat content of the ranch dressing was not included in the price and therefore a better bargain. However, I could also add that the fat content of your product is irrelevant went you consider the sugar/preservative/sodium/shoe-foam-rubber/polonium content of that same product. A bag of sugar the size of my head is fat free.

I'm out of good ideas. Tell me some other slargons (slogan + jargon) that you see all the time and have always thought were a little pointless. Someone who is good with computers and imagery should make me some ads that are honest and non-hyperbolic. If you do I'll send you something cool and improved with 33% more if itself.

1 comment:

  1. and is there really 33% in there, when a bottle of lotion says "33% Free"? That's my question! "Buy One Get One Free" is a scam when what you are buying is way overpriced and will be on clearance in a week. For example: When I worked at Lane Bryant, a shirt could be 80 dollars - mind you the shirt would be worth 15-20 in a regular store, but because they follow the assumption that some people will only shop there and they have created market environment where many customers actually feel that way, they will mark stuff buy one get one and still, you are paying 40 dollars per shirt (because you have to get another one right?) for a 15-20 dollar shirt you could have bought in another store that doesn't advertise plus size, but does sale plus size, like New York & Company. Okay, another one is when Krogers Grocery Store has their 10 for 10 sale - they make you "think" you have to buy 10 of something in order to get the 10 for 10 sale (or even 2 for 5 or what have you) but you don't. Should be obvious, but people get sucked up into the price and don't realize it was the same price before the sale LOL. Yeah....my spill.